Survivor's Guilt
by Doggerwolf
Summary: Raven is the sole survivor of a horrible car crash that claims the life of a friend. Nine months later, she is dating Garfield and is suffering from PTSD, and with the help of her boyfriend, she finds peace. Rated M for disturbing details.


_The cars kept driving past her. She didn't know why. It was so obvious: a blue Volvo was sitting upside down in the ditch next to the woods, the roof and three of its wheels gone, the taillights blinking on and off, smoke spitting through the windows._

 _She moaned as she felt the blood start to slowly run down her head her sweater and escape her nostrils. She could barely breathe. She looked down and saw a huge shard of metal sticking out of her stomach._

 _She screamed._

"Raven! Raven! Wake up!"

Raven's eyes flew open to see Garfield. She wasn't stuck in a car; she was underneath the warm covers of their bed. And there was no ravine; instead, she was in her bedroom.

Garfield pulled her up and into his arms and began to stoke her hair as she cried into his shoulder, her tears wetting his T-shirt.

"Shh, shh," he cooed softly. "You're okay, baby. You're okay. It's all over."

Garfield slowly pulled his girlfriend away and looked into her amethyst eyes. They were filled with pain, something he always dreaded. Seeing this type of torture in her soul made him feel so guilty.

He softly kissed her lips before gently lowering her back down on the bed before laying on his side and caressing her head and cheek. As he did this, she began to relax and started sniffling.

"Was it about the crash again?" he asked.

She slowly nodded. "Yes. This time it was worse. I was impaled and no one would stop to help me."

Garfield kissed her forehead and rested his head on top of hers. "Well, that never happened. You were incredibly lucky. You're still upset about Jake, aren't you?"

Raven let one last tear seep out from her eye. "He really cared about me. He was a sweet man."

Suddenly she began to remember. She didn't want to, but she couldn't avoid it.

* * *

 _Nine months ago_

Raven stepped outside into the cold night air. Titans East had thrown a party and her four teammates had already left. Kori had started to feel sick and Richard, who couldn't bear the thought of not taking care of her, had taken her home on the R-cycle. Victor was suffering from a hangover and Garfield, who had been dating Raven for a month, couldn't let his friend behind the wheel of the T-car, and Raven decided to stay a little longer.

She had called her friend Jake asking him if he could pick her up and had already told him that if he was unable to then that was okay. But Jake was the type of person who waited for someone to ask him for help, so he said he would be there right away.

Five minutes after stepping outside, Raven saw the headlights of Jake's Volvo get brighter as he pulled up beside her. She climbed into the passenger seat and saw Jake behind the wheel wearing his contagious smile. He was twenty-three, making him five years older than Raven(A/N: so she's eighteen, as is Garfield). He was very handsome; he had cheerful brown eyes, light brown hair, and had an average muscular build. He met the Titans after he assisted them in saving other people from a building fire about a year ago, and immediately he became someone they could trust. His wonderful personality was more attractive than his looks.

"It was sweet of you to pick me up." Raven said.

"Oh, it's no problem." Jake said as he pulled out.

They talked as they drove down the road as the sky got darker. A small fog had started to envelope the car.

"So, how are things between you and Gar?" he asked as they began to drive up a bridge that went over a very deep ditch.

Raven blushed. "Oh, he's still Gar, you know. But he is becoming more of a gentleman."

"I wonder when you two will be married." Jake said, not taking his eyes off the road.

Raven laughed. "Jake, I don't know if this relationship will be one that will last forever."

"Oh, I know it is." he said.

"How do you know?" she asked.

She would never hear his answer. Suddenly the steering wheel snapped to the left and the car hit the railing of the bridge, causing it to spiral as it slid over to the right side of the road. Unfortunately, this was where the bridge's railings came to an end. The car flew over the side just at the descent of the hill. Raven and Jake screamed as the car spun in the air as it was still moving forward during the fall. When the car hit the ground, it was as if Raven saw everything in slow motion: as the vehicle struck the bottom of the ditch front-first, she looked to her left just as she saw what looked like Jake being ejected out of the car through the front windshield, causing the glass to shatter, some of it splintering her face. At that same moment, the bonnet slammed into her legs. The car bounced twice before landing on the roof. It screeched down the grass, and Raven saw sparks fly up as the roof was torn off. Her head hit the headrest so many times. God, it hurt. She continued to scream before the car finally came to a stop.

After managing to free her legs, Raven unbuckled her seatbelt, causing her to fall down and hit the grass(A/N: Remember, the roof was torn off). She felt the blood running out of her nose and her hands squished her own fluids. Her navy blue sweater and jeans were nearly soaked in blood.

She blacked out.

* * *

The sound of sirens began to fill her ears. A large amount of faint lights colored red, blue and white slowly started to make her stir, but she opened her eyes when she heard the voices.

The first one was covered with shock: _What the fuck?_

The second one screamed with fright: _Where's Raven? Where's friend Raven?_

The third one echoed an attempt to remain calm but was slowly failing: _Don't worry. I'm sure she's all right._

But the last one sounded closer and filled with more agony than the other ones: _Where is she?! Where's my girlfriend?_

 _Sir, stay calm. We're doing everything we can._

Pounding footsteps.

Then she finally lifted her head to see someone slowly kneeling down. And then she saw those forest green eyes.

"Garfield?" she asked. Her voice sounded dry and raspy.

"Raven!" he said in relief. He held out his hand. She grabbed it and he grunted as he slowly began to pull her through the busted window.

When she finally reached outside, the freezing air hit her. It must have been 10 degrees Fahrenheit. She felt Garfield wrap his muscular arms around her as he began to cradle her.

"Where's Jake?" she asked. "Where's Jake?"

"They're looking for him, babe." he said as he started to carry her back up the ditch. "We'll find him."

"Thank God she's okay!" It was Victor. "You alright, Rae?"

"Hey," Raven said, smiling weakly, "only Gar is allowed to call me that."

Victor chuckled lightly.

A police officer walked up. "You think you guys can handle this? Or does she need to have surgery?"

"Don't worry, man." Victor said. "I think we can do this."

Garfield still held her as they climbed into the T-car. Victor floored it all the way back.

Raven kept moaning.

"Shh. Just rest, Rae. You'll be fine." Garfield said as he kissed her bloodstained cheek.

She closed her eyes and did as he said.

* * *

The police found Jake far behind the crushed Volvo. When he was ejected out of the windshield, he flew a few feet before landing right on the back of his head. His neck was broken and his skull shattered. The EMTs said it was the worst site they had seen in a long time and it was certainly one they would never forget. An autopsy confirmed that he felt no pain.

* * *

Raven woke up in the tower infirmary. She was covered in a warm blanket and she had been changed into her nightgown.

Garfield smiled. "Hi, Rae. How do you feel?"

She yawned as she slowly began to sit up. "I feel at peace. What happened to me?"

He frowned with concern, clearly in disgust of the extent of her injuries. He just handed her a piece of paper titled _Medical Exam_.

She slowly took it and read it:

 _1\. Shattered pelvis_

 _2\. Busted lip_

 _3\. Broken rib_

 _4\. Fractured fibula_

 _5\. Broken nose_

 _6\. Sprained neck_

 _7\. Concussion_

Then she remembered. "Where's Jake?"

Garfield got that look in his eyes. She knew that look; it was the look that showed fear, grief, mourning, and pain.

"No." she choked, her eyes watering.

He slowly nodded his head.

"No. NO!" She broke down. Tears popped out and continued to leak and run like waterfalls down her cheeks. She wailed loud enough for everyone in the whole building to know that she heard the news.

* * *

The funeral was the worst day of her life, even worse than when she defeated Trigon. So many people were there. Garfield, Richard and Victor all wore their best tuxes. Raven and Kori wore black dresses, both heavily sobbing.

When Richard walked up to the microphone to give his eulogy, he tried his best to look composed, but everyone in the church could sense the pain in his voice:

"Jacob Kevin Willis was probably destined to be a best friend of the Teen Titans from the day he came into this world. We were called to an apartment fire and as I was trying to break open a door, I saw another figure running over and he was helping me try to knock that door open. And he helped me carry that person out. When I told him to run to safety, he just ran right back into that building. After we had helped everyone get out of that building, he introduced himself. Jake was a person who had a huge love for life and everyone in this world. He believed that all people had some good within them. And it was so awful for him to have left us so soon. All of us Titans are still recovering from this horrible loss. And for Jake's family, I will be praying for you every day."

Raven watched as Jake's parents hugged Richard and said thank you. When it was time to walk past the casket, Raven stopped right in front of it and ran her hand up the coffin. She couldn't take it. It was overwhelming to know that inside this dreadful black coffin with beautiful flowers sitting on top of it was Jake, the person who would never ignore a cry for help. She just fell on her knees and sobbed uncontrollably. Garfield just slowly lifted her up and had to keep whispering in her ear that everything was going to be okay.

But it was never going to be okay. When they returned to the Tower, they all went to their rooms. Garfield just sat on his bed, resting his forehead in his hand. Victor was so mad that he punched a hole in his wall. Richard paced around his room over and over again, wondering what he should do. Kori cried into her pillow until she fell asleep. And Raven just lay in bed under the covers, just as if she were in catatonia.

* * *

 _Present_

Raven chuckled. "I must have looked so messed up in that bed." She

"Rae, don't say that," Garfield said, kissing her temple. "You were still beautiful. Now just try to get some sleep."

She gave him a warm smile. "Goodnight, Gar." She closed her eyes and smiled as she felt him pull her closer.

"Goodnight, sweetheart." he said, kissing her hair. Soon enough, he fell asleep, his arm now heavily slumped over her.

She almost drifted off herself when something happened.

She felt something ache her eyelids. She could only open them a little bit. The room was suddenly bright, very bright. It was the brightest light she had ever seen. And it seemed to be coming from the foot of the bed. She sat up, struggling to adjust to the brightness. Garfield was still asleep.

Then the light began to change colors. It began to form into something...or _someone_. It finally stopped in the form of a familiar-looking young man. Then Raven saw the friendly smile. A tear rolled down her cheek.

"Jake?" she asked.

 _Hi, Raven_ , he said. His voice echoed softly. He walked over to her side of the bed and sat down.

She started crying. "Oh, Jake, I'm so sorry."

 _Don't be, Raven_ , he told her. _It was not your fault. And I hate to see you beat yourself over it._ He placed a hand on her shoulder. _While I may not be on the face of this Earth, I'm still here. And I'll always be with you. And I know that Gar will take care of you for the rest of your life. He had already told me that he would do anything for you to keep you from leaving him._

So that's what he was going to answer, Raven thought.

Then he leaned in and hugged her. She hugged him back. It was almost as if he were still alive; she felt his recognizable warmth. But when she opened her eyes he was gone.

Then Garfield woke up. "Rae, are you okay?"

She started to cry again, but this time it was tears of joy. "Jake came to me."

Garfield smiled.

"You don't think I'm crazy, do you?" Raven asked.

He shook his head. "No. I believe you." He pulled her into a hug. "It happened to me after my parents died. They came to me and told me that everything will be the same, except that they wouldn't be there."

She looked up at him, her eyes red. "He said that you would do anything to keep me from leaving."

He paused, then he began to cry as well. "I did tell him that."

She embraced him and kissed him full on the mouth. He was surprised at first, but he soon sunk into it and held her tight.

They continued to kiss until they both rested on the bed and closed their eyes for the night.

* * *

 **I'm sorry if this story may be OOC, but I felt like I needed to do something besides humor and approach a serious issue about loss. I tried my best to show the true struggle of what happens when a person survives a traumatic incident and loses someone in the process. So I don't want any flames as this story speaks of a true problem that people go through.**

 **Sincerely,**

 **Doggerwolf**


End file.
